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Beware of Costly Assumptions


There is something called the “canopy relationship”. This is when a brother or sister hovers over you like a fly without intentions to marry you. You find that the brother is the first to call you on phone virtually everyday and the last to leave your house. The sister is the one who comes to cook for you over the weekend and stocks your freezer with essentials for the weekend. You are always together. People see you as best of friends and many are already assuming you are in a marital relationship. There’s something you need to do- define that relationship.


Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you can’t have male friends as a sister. I had a few back then too. An undefined relationship can be dangerous though. 




One probability is that a possible suitor wouldn’t be able to come propose to you because he assumes that you are already in a relationship with someone else. That way you miss your chance of having a good relationship. In the end, when the brother who is “canopilising” you comes with his wedding invitation, you will be totally broken. Don’t let anyone use you. Don’t allow yourself be taken advantage of you. Don’t let that fellow sap you of your emotional strength.


Many people have fallen victim of unmet expectations which left them devastated- I have seen a number of cases. They had hoped that this particular friend of theirs would want to get married to them. But alas, they had wasted their time in that relationship unnecessarily.

Don’t get unduly close to someone of the opposite sex. You don’t need to fall into an emotional ditch. Don’t feed your passion or feeling for that person if there is no concrete decision between both of you to go on that way. Don’t be an emotional toy to anyone. You are precious. Carry yourself as precious. Don’t act desperate. I heard a single lady going on and on about a married male friend of hers. She spoke of how wonderful he is. How he has been there for her. The list was endless. They had been friends right from before the guy got married. I sighed at how she expressed how much he meant to her. I perceived she had hoped the guy would marry her. And the worst part is that she is obviously obsessed with him. I see her as a potential threat to that guy’s marriage if care is not taken. 

If he has not proposed, don’t think you are engaged. It is very important to define your relationship- in clear terms. Don’t bank on “it seems he likes me”. If he doesn’t have plans to settle down with you, you had better go get a can of insecticide and chase that ‘fly’ far away from you. Or be sure you can handle the emotional outcomes of finding out he’s totally into someone else. It’s better to be safe than to be sorry. 




A word is enough for the wise.

~OMOSEBI Mary Omolola

Omosebi Mary Omolola (PhD)

Omosebi Mary Omolola (Ph.D) is a lover of God, a disciple of The Lord Jesus Christ and a teacher by calling. She is on assignment to groom godly youths and women through the help of the Holy Spirit in this end-time. She treasures family. She has a strong desire to see marriages thrive in this troubled world. She speaks and writes passionately about marriage, relationships, and Christian living. She enjoys a beautiful marriage with her husband and best friend. She is a mother, writer, an entrepreneur and researcher and teacher of Food Science and Technology.

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