I have read/heard about women who have almost bent themselves over backwards just to see their husbands accept the changes that have occurred to their bodies especially due to the rigours of pregnancy/ageing. I feel so sorry for women who are being tormented by the men in their lives who are supposed to love and cherish them. The men who are expected to accept these women reject them instead. All they seem to do is point out the stretch marks on her body. Some even give ultimatums to their wives, as to when they want the stretch marks to disappear. They make cutting remarks like, “Why are you looking like a 7 month pregnant woman?”
On our wedding day, our Pastor asked me to stand up while he exhorted us. He told me to turn round before my husband a number of times. Then he said to my husband, “Shola, look at this woman very well. She won’t be like this in a couple of years.” Truth be told, I am not exactly the same physically as I was 6 years back. Few months after we had our first child, I tried my wedding gown on and it fitted me well. Right now, I dare not try pulling that stunt. What am I saying? The change will definitely come. I’m here to usher you into the real world. It may be mild for some and severe for others but it will certainly come (please, register this in your mind). And be ready to accept it lovingly.
Well, people work out these days and it seems to work for getting bodies back in shape after pregnancy. And there are so many photoshopped pictures of women all over the place too. I tell you, some of those figures are film-tricks. No matter how hard you try though, the body changes get to a point where they cannot be reversed. The devil don give plenty people job. They buy creams upon creams to remove stretch marks. Some over exercise themselves all in the name of trimming themselves, setting their hearts up for a breakdown . Others use fat-burning drugs (which most likely have negative effects on the body). And others go for surgical procedures to pull up the sagging skins or pull some fat out of their bodies.
As much as I’m a solicitor of not being sloppy as a woman, I am against breaking yourself because you want to meet up with man’s standards.
Dear man, don’t push your woman over the edge. Stop putting unnecessary pressure on her. Help build her self-confidence, don’t trample on it. You can encourage her by being involved in the exercises she’s undertaking and make sure you tell her you love her as she is (and be sure you truly do).
A common reason given by men who cheat on their wives is that the women are no longer as “hot” as they used to be. They forget that ageing is something you can’t really do anything about despite all the anti-ageing creams et al. The physiological changes that occur in a woman’s body are inevitable. A woman’s body faces a lot of stress as it is. Adding psychological stress to her stress-load is being unfair to her. Let’s face life as it is.
Help her with the truck-load of work she has to do. Don’t leave her alone to be the general cleaner, cook, nanny, and everything else while you do nothing around the house but issue decree over decree from your throne in the living room set in front of the super sports channel.
. . .And please, live at peace with her. Love her as instructed by God. It will reflect on her looks too.
If you’re not yet married, don’t marry that lady because of her ‘hot’ body. Marry her because you love the person in that body. For the married, decide to age gracefully alongside your wife. Look beyond her body. Reach unto her soul and spirit.
Hope I have been able to convince and not confuse you that love goes beyond just looks.
I rest my case!
~OMOSEBI Mary Omolola