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To The Married Woman on Lovemaking. . .

One lie that is being thrown around by the world is that “good sex keeps a man faithful”. It is not good sex that will keep your man faithful, it is only God that can do that. The same lie is used to trap single ladies. The world tells them that they need to ‘secure’ the man they want to marry with sex. This is a blantant lie of the devil.

However, sex in marriage is important for the overall health of the marriage. It’s a lubricant that helps the marriage run smoothly.

Here are a few practical steps to having a healthy sex life in your marriage:

☆ The number one thing the married christian woman should do is to soak their marriage bed in the pool of prayers. The Bible encourages us to pray about “everything”. I believe that includes the marriage bed. Talk to God about your sexual intimacy as a couple. Pray that both of you will be truly naked and not ashamed. Pray that God will teach you to love deeply. Pray against every force working contrary to you having an excellent experience sexually. Pray, pray, pray. . . Amen somebody!

☆ Next thing is to communicate with your partner. Both of you need to communicate what your needs are to each other. Be sincere. Be open. You will be shocked at some of the expectations of your spouse when you get talking. Like I usually say, “I am not a spirit. I wouldn’t know what’s on your mind unless you voice out”. No guess work in this matter. You need to know the questions so that you can give the right answers.

☆ Be a participator not a spectator. Seek for ways to meet your partner’s needs. Don’t just lie there like a log of wood or just shake off the dust immediately after. Be active. Let your spouse know that you enjoy being with him. Don’t be a bore. Train your mind to enjoy. Be willing to work at achieving sexual intimacy.

☆ Don’t see lovemaking as “hard work”. It is expected to be a pleasurable and enjoyable experience. Choose to enjoy it. You have to decide to. Stop giving unnecessary excuses. Someone is complaining that her husband does not seek to be intimate with her anymore. Can we really blame him? He made an advance at you two years ago, you were tired. Two months ago, you were still tired and having the same nagging headache you had 2 years ago. Excuse me sis, you killed the fire. You’ve got to put the sticks back together. Apologize to your husband and commit to rekindling the dead fire.

☆ Gather knowledge. Read relevant books on sex in marriage. Go for counselling if necessary. Above all, meditate on what God’s stance is on the issue of sex in marriage.

Go on and begin to enjoy the adorable gift God has given you. . . It’s time to stop enduring it.

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2015

Omosebi Mary Omolola (PhD)

Omosebi Mary Omolola (Ph.D) is a lover of God, a disciple of The Lord Jesus Christ and a teacher by calling. She is on assignment to groom godly youths and women through the help of the Holy Spirit in this end-time. She treasures family. She has a strong desire to see marriages thrive in this troubled world. She speaks and writes passionately about marriage, relationships, and Christian living. She enjoys a beautiful marriage with her husband and best friend. She is a mother, writer, an entrepreneur and researcher and teacher of Food Science and Technology.

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