One day, I watched my husband’s style of ironing shirts and I was wondering just how much different it was from how I do mine.
I then told him, “My father did not teach me to iron men’s shirts the way you are ironing them right now.” I explained how I was taught to do mine. I remember him jokingly say he didn’t even know where he learnt to iron that way.
The next time I was going to iron shirts, I tried out his method and it actually seemed logically easier although it felt strange trying a completely different method after so many years of doing it in a particular way. For me, it wasn’t as easy as it seemed when my husband was ironing that way. I reverted to my style after a few tries.
What mattered in the end was for the shirts to be free of wrinkles.
As I ruminated on that experience a while ago, my thoughts were directed towards marriage.
In marriage, you and your spouse will not always think the same way. Why? You are coming from different backgrounds and no two people are exactly the same anyway.
Look at football teams for instance; the players usually have varying heights. Yet they are able to work together. What will give them success is their ability to blend their differences by allowing each person fit into the positions that best reflects their strengths.
Your relationship will be peaceful if you always think of you and your spouse as a team despite your obvious differences.
Your spouse is NOT your opponent. Don’t treat him/her like one. When you disagree, don’t turn it into a battle that you have to win.
Don’t be a rigid person; unwilling to compromise when necessary.
Look for a way to always walk around your differences without making him/her an enemy.
What you need is the skill of play. . . Be a team player.
. . . And embrace your uniqueness as individuals and as a couple.
Every relationship / marriage is unique since the partners are unique.
Some of us make the mistake of trying to bring into our marriages ideas from the past or other people’s relationships without checking if they are workable in our own relationships. I have found this to be a major reason for fall out among couples.
Know that it usually isn’t that the ideas are wrong in themselves but they might just not be right for you.
Understudy yourself, your partner and your marriage.
The understanding of these three entities will help you walk together with your partner in an atmosphere of happiness.
Always set your eyes on the goal of building a happy marriage.
© OMOSEBI Mary Omolola (PhD)
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