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Teach your child the Underwear Rule and help protect them from abuse.

The Underwear Rule is a simple way that parents can help keep children safe from abuse – without using scary words or mentioning sex.

Talk PANTS and you’ve got the Underwear Rule covered

PANTS is an easy way for you to explain to your child the key elements of the Underwear Rule:

PRIVATES are private.
Be clear with your child that the parts of their body covered by underwear are private. Explain to your child that no one should ask to see or touch their private parts or ask them to look at or touch anyone else’s. Sometimes doctors, nurses or family members might have to. Explain that this is OK, but that those people should always explain why, and ask your child if it’s OK first.

ALWAYS remember your body belongs to you.
Let your children know their body belongs to them, and no one else. No one has the right to make them do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. And if anyone tries, tell your child they have the right to say no. Remind your child that they can always talk to you about anything which worries or upsets them.

NO means no.
Make sure your child understands that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touch – even to a family member or someone they know or love. This shows that they’re in control of their body and their feelings should be respected. If a child feels confident to say no to their own family, they are more likely to say no to others.

TALK about secrets that upset you.
Explain the differences between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ secrets. Phrases like “it’s our little secret” are an abuser’s way of making a child feel worried, or scared to tell someone what is happening to them. Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people. Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened. Your child needs to feel able to speak up about secrets that worry them and confident that saying something won’t get them into trouble. Telling a secret will never hurt or worry anybody in your family or someone you know and love.

SPEAK up, someone can help
Tell your child that if they ever feel sad,anxious or frightened they should talk to an adult they trust. This doesn’t have to be a family member. It can also be a teacher or a friend’s parent- or even ChildLine. Remind them that whatever the problem it’s not their fault and they will never get into trouble for speaking up.
Source: www.nspcc.org

Female Genital. Mutilation

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), also known as female genital cutting and female circumcision, is the ritual removal of some or all of the external female genitalia. Typically carried out by a traditional circumciser with a blade or razor, with or without anaesthesia, FGM is concentrated in 27 countries in Africa, as well as in Yemen and Iraqi Kurdistan, and practised to a lesser extent elsewhere in Asia and among diaspora communities around the world. The age at which it is conducted varies from days after birth to puberty; in half the countries for which national figures are available, most girls are cut before the age of five.

HOW?
The procedures differ according to the ethnic group.
Female genital mutilation is classified into four major types.

1. Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals) and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).
2. Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are “the lips” that surround the vagina).
3. Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris. In this procedure, a small hole is left for the passage of urine and menstrual blood, and the vagina is opened for intercourse and childbirth.
4. Other: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area.

DANGERS
FGM has no health benefits, and it harms girls and women in many ways. It involves removing and damaging healthy and normal female genital tissue, and interferes with the natural functions of girls’ and women’s bodies.

Immediate complications can include severe pain, shock, haemorrhage (bleeding), tetanus or sepsis (bacterial infection), urine retention, open sores in the genital region and injury to nearby genital tissue.

Long-term consequences can include:

*recurrent bladder and *urinary tract infections;
*cysts;
*infertility;
*an increased risk of childbirth complications and newborn deaths;
*the need for later surgeries. For example, the FGM procedure that seals or narrows a vaginal opening (type 3 above) needs to be cut open later to allow for sexual intercourse and childbirth. Sometimes it is stitched again several times, including after childbirth, hence the woman goes through repeated opening and closing procedures, further increasing and repeated both immediate and long-term risks.

WHY?
The practice is rooted in gender inequality, attempts to control women’s sexuality, and ideas about purity, modesty and aesthetics. It is initiated and usually carried out by women, who see it as a source of honour, and who fear that failing to have their daughters and granddaughters cut will expose the girls to social exclusion.

WHO IS AT RISK?
Procedures are mostly carried out on young girls sometime between infancy and age 15, and occasionally on adult women. In Africa, more than three million girls have been estimated to be at risk for FGM annually.
Over 125 million women and girls have experienced FGM in the 29 countries in which it is concentrated. Over eight million have been infibulated, a practice found largely in Djibouti, Eritrea, Somalia and Sudan.

OUR STANCE
FGM has been outlawed or restricted in most of the countries in which it occurs, but the laws are poorly enforced. There have been international efforts since the 1970s to persuade practitioners to abandon it, and in 2012 the United Nations General Assembly, recognizing FGM as a human-rights violation, voted unanimously to intensify those efforts.

FGM is recognized internationally as a violation of the human rights of girls and women. It reflects deep-rooted inequality between the sexes, and constitutes an extreme form of discrimination against women. It is nearly always carried out on minors and is a violation of the rights of children. The practice also violates a person’s rights to health, security and physical integrity, the right to be free from torture and cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment, and the right to life when the procedure results in death.

To rape victims. . .

 

We don’t know why God allows tragedies to enter our lives, but we do know that God hurts deeply with us and loves us more than we’ll ever know. He comforts us and gives us the strength to work through our pain.
LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them (Psalm 10:17)
Let Your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant (Psalm 119:76)

God hates all violence, and he hates those who love violence. They will surely be severely judged. Tamar in the Bible was raped by her half brother. He got a death sentence hanging on his head right from that time, and it was executed.

The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates everyone who loves violence (Psalm 11:5).

Rape is a violent act against an innocent victim (most times).

Whichever way, there is no excuse for such a terrible crime. God compares rape to murder (Deuteronomy 22:25-26). It is important, however, that you don’t fan the flames of lust by wearing provocative clothing or sending provocative signals.

If we fill our hearts and minds with God and His good things, we will empty our hearts and minds of anger, hatred, and plotting violence.

Forgiveness is still key. Christ forgave those who crucified him. There is nothing harder- or more healing- than forgiving someone who has greatly wronged you.

Prayer: Dear Lord, we lift up rape victims to you. Please, heal their wounds, soothe their pain. Minister Your comfort to their hearts. Help them to walk into the glorious future you have planned for them by Your grace, in Jesus’ name! (Amen).

Why Does God Allow Infertility?

When a couple has been waiting upon the Lord for months or years for the fruit of the womb, we tend to ask so many questions. 

Why does God permit his loved ones to suffer pain, such as the pain of being unable to bear children? 

Why can’t He just give a child to parents who want one badly?


The real answer is that we don’t know. What we do know is that we live in a fallen world where life doesn’t always go the way we had hoped. We also know that God’s love for us is greater than anything we could ever imagine. But for reasons we do not fully understand, He does not always allow us to have what we desire.



Maybe it’s because He has a different plan for us. When we get to Heaven we will find out. But now we must trust that heaven is a perfect place with a perfect and loving God, where all pain will be erased and life will be everything we hoped it to be. Until then, we cannot stop trusting that the God of that Heaven is also the same God who lives now in our hearts. 

Only God knows the real answer to this question that has bothered the heart of many. We humans cannot understand it all on this side of eternity. 


There are three things that are never satisfied—
no, four that never say, “Enough!”: the grave, 

the barren womb, 

the thirsty desert, 

the blazing fire. (Prov. 30:15-16)

My prayer today however is that God will open every womb that has been shut and give unto those seeking God’s face for the fruit of the womb wonderful gifts of children in Jesus’ name.

It is well

Marry God’s Friend

 

I have read and heard many people who advice that one thing that makes marriage work is to marry your friend. But this theory has failed many. They marry this so-called friend and he begins to act like a stranger. They begin to wonder where the person they thought they knew and got married to walked off to. I agree that it’s good to marry your friend, but the most important formula is to marry A Friend of God.
If that person is a friend of God, it simply means that he fears God. God is the centre of his life. His thoughts, actions and speech are controlled by God. A friend of God knows the laws of God. He honours God’s Words. A friend of God wants to do everything just to please God.
Only a friend of God will live with you peacefully. The Prince of peace is his Lord. It is a friend of God that will make sure you align with God’s purpose for your life. He understands that you are one and the same before God. It is a friend of God that will love you like Christ loves His church. He carries God on the inside of him. He is accustomed to the ways of God; the ways of God have become his ways. Man is fallible. Being your friend can change at any time. Being God’s friend is signing up for stability.
You have to be God’s friend too. Only then can the equation be balanced. Are you a friend of God?
God knows those who are His. Let him give you one of His friends to marry.
I pray God’s best for you in Jesus’ name!
~OMOSEBI Mary Omolola, PhD 

 

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