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Teach your child the Underwear Rule and help protect them from abuse.

The Underwear Rule is a simple way that parents can help keep children safe from abuse – without using scary words or mentioning sex.

Talk PANTS and you’ve got the Underwear Rule covered

PANTS is an easy way for you to explain to your child the key elements of the Underwear Rule:

PRIVATES are private.
Be clear with your child that the parts of their body covered by underwear are private. Explain to your child that no one should ask to see or touch their private parts or ask them to look at or touch anyone else’s. Sometimes doctors, nurses or family members might have to. Explain that this is OK, but that those people should always explain why, and ask your child if it’s OK first.

ALWAYS remember your body belongs to you.
Let your children know their body belongs to them, and no one else. No one has the right to make them do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. And if anyone tries, tell your child they have the right to say no. Remind your child that they can always talk to you about anything which worries or upsets them.

NO means no.
Make sure your child understands that they have the right to say “no” to unwanted touch – even to a family member or someone they know or love. This shows that they’re in control of their body and their feelings should be respected. If a child feels confident to say no to their own family, they are more likely to say no to others.

TALK about secrets that upset you.
Explain the differences between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ secrets. Phrases like “it’s our little secret” are an abuser’s way of making a child feel worried, or scared to tell someone what is happening to them. Good secrets can be things like surprise parties or presents for other people. Bad secrets make you feel sad, worried or frightened. Your child needs to feel able to speak up about secrets that worry them and confident that saying something won’t get them into trouble. Telling a secret will never hurt or worry anybody in your family or someone you know and love.

SPEAK up, someone can help
Tell your child that if they ever feel sad,anxious or frightened they should talk to an adult they trust. This doesn’t have to be a family member. It can also be a teacher or a friend’s parent- or even ChildLine. Remind them that whatever the problem it’s not their fault and they will never get into trouble for speaking up.
Source: www.nspcc.org

Female Genital. Mutilation

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), also known as female genital cutting and female circumcision, is the ritual removal of some or all of the external female genitalia. Typically carried out by a traditional circumciser with a blade or razor, with or without anaesthesia, FGM is concentrated in 27 countries in Africa, as well as in Yemen and Iraqi Kurdistan, and practised to a lesser extent elsewhere in Asia and among diaspora communities around the world. The age at which it is conducted varies from days after birth to puberty; in half the countries for which national figures are available, most girls are cut before the age of five.

HOW?
The procedures differ according to the ethnic group.
Female genital mutilation is classified into four major types.

1. Clitoridectomy: partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals) and, in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris).
2. Excision: partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora (the labia are “the lips” that surround the vagina).
3. Infibulation: narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the inner, or outer, labia, with or without removal of the clitoris. In this procedure, a small hole is left for the passage of urine and menstrual blood, and the vagina is opened for intercourse and childbirth.
4. Other: all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area.

DANGERS
FGM has no health benefits, and it harms girls and women in many ways. It involves removing and damaging healthy and normal female genital tissue, and interferes with the natural functions of girls’ and women’s bodies.

Immediate complications can include severe pain, shock, haemorrhage (bleeding), tetanus or sepsis (bacterial infection), urine retention, open sores in the genital region and injury to nearby genital tissue.

Long-term consequences can include:

*recurrent bladder and *urinary tract infections;
*cysts;
*infertility;
*an increased risk of childbirth complications and newborn deaths;
*the need for later surgeries. For example, the FGM procedure that seals or narrows a vaginal opening (type 3 above) needs to be cut open later to allow for sexual intercourse and childbirth. Sometimes it is stitched again several times, including after childbirth, hence the woman goes through repeated opening and closing procedures, further increasing and repeated both immediate and long-term risks.

WHY?
The practice is rooted in gender inequality, attempts to control women’s sexuality, and ideas about purity, modesty and aesthetics. It is initiated and usually carried out by women, who see it as a source of honour, and who fear that failing to have their daughters and granddaughters cut will expose the girls to social exclusion.

WHO IS AT RISK?
Procedures are mostly carried out on young girls sometime between infancy and age 15, and occasionally on adult women. In Africa, more than three million girls have been estimated to be at risk for FGM annually.
Over 125 million women and girls have experienced FGM in the 29 countries in which it is concentrated. Over eight million have been infibulated, a practice found largely in Djibouti, Eritrea, Somalia and Sudan.

OUR STANCE
FGM has been outlawed or restricted in most of the countries in which it occurs, but the laws are poorly enforced. There have been international efforts since the 1970s to persuade practitioners to abandon it, and in 2012 the United Nations General Assembly, recognizing FGM as a human-rights violation, voted unanimously to intensify those efforts.

FGM is recognized internationally as a violation of the human rights of girls and women. It reflects deep-rooted inequality between the sexes, and constitutes an extreme form of discrimination against women. It is nearly always carried out on minors and is a violation of the rights of children. The practice also violates a person’s rights to health, security and physical integrity, the right to be free from torture and cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment, and the right to life when the procedure results in death.

Know Your Blood Type (group, genotype, rhesus factor)

 

During my PhD research field work, one of the children that was a subject in my clinical trials was very sickly and wasn’t responding well to treatment. The infant was subjected to a blood test and that was when it was discovered that the child’s genotype was SS.

Right there in the hospital upon knowing the outcome of the test the father of the child made it known that his relationship with the mother of the child was practically over since he could not try having another child with her. Even though nurses tried talking to him about the possibility of managing the boy’s condition I could notice his change in attitude at subsequent clinic appointments compared to how loving he seemed initially.

Save yourself the stress that can be caused by ignorance my friend. Make sure you know your blood type.

Sometimes ago, I asked a lady what her blood group was and she said “S”.

I ask you too today, “What’s your blood group, genotype and rhesus factor?” There is a difference between your blood group and your genotype.

It’s very important to know what they are (so you identify the red zones). Before you go too far with that man, towards marriage, go for a blood test together. (There is a recent case of a man who lied about his genotype to his fiancee. They got married and the truth was revealed when one of their children started falling sick because he was a sickle cell carrier). So be watchful.

Ignorance can cost you a whole lot. Be sure that your blood types are compatible. And that the combination of your blood types would not give your child a problematic blood type. Love is not blind at all.

Ignorance has led to some women loosing pregnancies over and over (and thereby labelled witches) not knowing that it is was just a case of differing rhesus factors.

Ignorance has led to poverty and lack of peace in some homes. Knowing your blood type also matters when it comes to blood transfusion.

If your genotype is AS, I beg you in the name of the Lord, don’t marry someone whose genotype is also AS or worse still SS or SC (except you are very sure that the Lord Himself has assured you of safety on that road). Think of the children you will have. The pains that sickle cell carriers go through is unbearable. Spare those children please.

And spare yourselves the horror too. I tell you, having sickly children will test that love you say is the reason you are marrying that person and damming the consequences.

Research results show that there is some evidence that certain components having to do with fertility can be shown to be under the influence of blood type, in particular, the level of antibodies a woman secretes into her vaginal tract that are directed toward other blood types can be shown to be under the influence of secretor status and diet. The rejection of the man’s sperm can often be the result of blood type incompatibility (Dr D’Adamo).

In case of emergencies too, the knowledge of these details about yourself would come in handy

The Blood groups: A; B; O; and AB. Group O is the universal donor(they can give every group blood). Group A can donate to A’s and AB’s. Group B can donate to B’s and AB’s. AB can donate to AB’s but can receive from all others.

Your blood type is inherited from both of your parents. Each parent carries TWO “alleles” for both blood group and Rh factor, of which only ONE is passed to each offspring. What alleles they possess constitutes their genotype. Some alleles dominate over others. For example, a parent with type A+ may have 2 “A” alleles, or, they may have one A and one O. In the latter case, the O will be dominated by the A, and that person will be blood type A, but can still pass the O trait on to a child. Similarly, a person who is Rh+ may have either two + alleles, or one Rh+ and one Rh-, with the Rh+ dominating. Again, in the latter case, they may pass either an Rh+ or Rh- allele to their child.

An A or B allele will dominate over an O, so if your genotype is AO, you will be type A, and if it is BO, you will be type B. People with both an A and B allele have type AB, since neither dominates the other. Since the O allele is recessive, people with type O blood will always have the genotype OO. The Rh+ allele dominates Rh-, so a person with a positive Rh factor may be ++ or +-. Those who are Rh negative are always –.

Knowledge is power!

-OMOSEBI Mary Omolola (PhD)                    ©2016

Self Esteem (2)

Many are unaware of the great responsibility involved in parenting. We are products of our environment. When a child grows up in an environment of abuse and immorality, he/she would develop all kinds of emotional disorders. The feelings and attitudes children are exposed to, form the attitudes they embrace as adults, even if they are wrong.

Parents must be careful with their choice of words when they chastise there children in a bid to correct them. Words are powerful. The inward pain of hurtful words linger long after the physical bruises and pain is gone.

The truth is that parents hold the future of their children in their hands by their choice of words and the environment they create for them. The environment determines whether they succeed of fail, serve God or not, become good or bad parents. The environment you create for them also determines the environment they’ll give you when you are old. Whatever you sow, you’ll reap. Treat your children right, care for them, respect them and provide for them to the best of your ability; and they will be insurance for you when you are old.

Those who have been emotionally wounded tend to look for love and acceptance desperately. No one has the ability to overcome the pains and bad memories of your past. Love yourself first and have a good self-esteem; then somebody else can love you. See yourself as valuable and a treasure. Stop looking for love in the wrong places because you will not find it.

Loving yourself is easy when you see yourself through the eyes of the One Person who loves and made you for His own pleasure. When people around you see no good in you, I guarantee that God does; His love for you is unconditional and ever-present. Develop a relationship with God and you will learn to love and value yourself; He will also bring people your way who will love you for who you are. You will no longer have to look for love because Love would have found you.

Are you a parent who has made mistakes in the past? Allow God show you how to become a better parent. Focus on your children, recognize their problems and needs, support, guide, listen to them and love them. Love them selflessly. Stop running them down with your mouth. Instead, help them build a healthy self-esteem.

May God help us!

Self Esteem (1)

One thing that plagues more people and cripples more lives than the said heart and blood diseases, is the lack of self-esteem. Self-esteem is your perception of yourself created from the accumulation of your thoughts and experiences in life.

Three majors ways through which self-esteem is developed are
1. By acquiring it from your daily interactions with others
2. By earning it from putting your skills and talents to work and
3. By experiencing it from loved ones through their affirmative words which their actions would further reinforce.

Everyone wants to be accepted for who they are especially from their family members; their is an innate need to “belong”. The truth though is that God has already accepted us and we are His. In order to have high self-esteem and truly love ourselves, we must be able to look beyond what man can do for us and become dependent on God. When you are reliant on God, no matter how hard people try to put you down,your self-esteem will not be compromised.

We all have to be very careful about the way we see ourselves. It does not matter what anybody thinks, the important thing is how God sees you and how you see yourself.

Stay away from people who only like you because of what you have or can do for them. Surround yourself with people who will give you a positive feedback on yourself and celebrate you in spite of your shortcomings; people who will treat you with respect.

You do yourself great injustice when you compare yourself with others, so don’t. The truth is that you end up comparing your weaknesses to their strengths and you run yourself down. Celebrate yourself and others will celebrate you; when people talk about your weaknesses, point them to your strengths.

No matter your background, gender or physical appearance, there is a purpose for your life. There is something that God has put in you that only YOU can contribute to the world; pray to God to show you to show you your gifts and talents and develop them.

If you really want to experience love and self-respect, you must know God. When God says that He loves you, He means it. He’s the one person you can depend on to always believe in you and never give up on you. You are precious to God. You are a unique individual without a duplicate and the world will not be the same without you! You are important!
#Selfesteem

Excerpts from the book “The single Life” by Pastor Bimbo Odukoya (with slight modification)

To rape victims. . .

 

We don’t know why God allows tragedies to enter our lives, but we do know that God hurts deeply with us and loves us more than we’ll ever know. He comforts us and gives us the strength to work through our pain.
LORD, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will listen to their cries and comfort them (Psalm 10:17)
Let Your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant (Psalm 119:76)

God hates all violence, and he hates those who love violence. They will surely be severely judged. Tamar in the Bible was raped by her half brother. He got a death sentence hanging on his head right from that time, and it was executed.

The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates everyone who loves violence (Psalm 11:5).

Rape is a violent act against an innocent victim (most times).

Whichever way, there is no excuse for such a terrible crime. God compares rape to murder (Deuteronomy 22:25-26). It is important, however, that you don’t fan the flames of lust by wearing provocative clothing or sending provocative signals.

If we fill our hearts and minds with God and His good things, we will empty our hearts and minds of anger, hatred, and plotting violence.

Forgiveness is still key. Christ forgave those who crucified him. There is nothing harder- or more healing- than forgiving someone who has greatly wronged you.

Prayer: Dear Lord, we lift up rape victims to you. Please, heal their wounds, soothe their pain. Minister Your comfort to their hearts. Help them to walk into the glorious future you have planned for them by Your grace, in Jesus’ name! (Amen).

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