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The Beginning Of The End Of The Rest Of Your Life

The day you enter a wrong marriage marks the beginning of the end of your joy, peace, success, health, . . . name it. My heart leaps when it comes to the point of vow exchange at weddings. I wonder if the couple really understand what they are getting themselves into. To me, that is the most important aspect of the ceremony. I tell you, you’ll be faced with reality soon or later.

Marriage is a commitment, a life covenant. Whether she is able to bear a child or not; whether his money increases or otherwise; whether he now looks or behaves the way you thought he/she would or not, . . . Whatever your package contains, you are in a house that has no exit. Only death is the door.

So why would you joke with something that determines what the rest of your life would look like- for better or worse. Are you prepared for this life-long journey? Let God lead you. Please my dear, pray through and think again before you step into the boat with that fellow. Be sure you are not going into marriage because of ephemeral things. Don’t be in a hurry so you won’t be sorry. I pray for you, may you not miss it!
-Omosebi Mary Omolola

To the unmarried, write:

My heart bleeds when I hear about or see all these failing marriages. The foundation is usually the source of the problem. If the foundation of your marriage is faulty, you are in for serious trouble. Many people are so in a hurry to be called married that they fail to ensure that the foundation of their marriages are built with the right materials- (and at the right proportion).

It’s good to have a well organized wedding celebration. But remember, the wedding will come and then pass, then you step into the reality of the process -marriage. If only you would put as much energy and zeal into having a successful marriage as you would put (or are) into having a successful wedding ceremony.

Please and please, don’t join the already alarmingly increasing statistic of endured marriages.

The following will help you lay a solid foundation for that beautiful marriage you desire:

First, you have to ensure you are marrying God’s choice for you. It does not mean you’ll have a challenge free marriage, but it does mean it’ll be easier to deal with the challenges. Some people believe God doesn’t choose for people again, I bet He still does. Only if you’ll allow Him. You can never make a better choice than God’s choice- He’s all-knowing. Imagine you mixing sand and sand together to build the foundation of a house. Let God choose the cement you need to add to your sand for you (‘cos He’s the only one that knows what’s in each person)

Secondly, be sensitive! Like my husband would always say, “The signs are always there but people choose to ignore them”. How true! Watch out for the danger signs. Open your inner eyes very well. There is nothing like love is blind. Tackle the problems when it’s right. Remember, there is time for everything. Don’t carry dealing with them over till it’s too late.

Pray, pray and pray. Keep talking to God about your marriage. God hears every single prayer. If you’re truly His child, talk to Him like you are (and He will answer you). He will grant your desires. You can have a successful marriage. Desire it, work towards it! Buy the right materials and follow the author of marriage’s instruction.

Yours sincerely
OMOSEBI Mary Omolola, PhD




P. S. I have prepared a 3-module course specially for ladies who are looking forward to getting married soon.

To be sincere though I strongly believe that men too should see take this online course.

Whether you are engaged or not, as long as you plan to get married you should partake of this special meal that I have prepared for your soul through the help of God.

This course will prepare you for married life as a single person.

It will serve as a resource for you if you are passionate about seeing singles get it right in marriage like I am.

. . . And if you are married, you are sure to gain one or two things too.

Trust me, you don’t want to miss any part of the priceless information I am handing out to you here.

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THIS FREE COURSE NOW

Are You A Hopper?

Some youths enter into relationships indiscriminately. They keep hopping around without a sense of direction. They go in, have an accident with the car they’ve decided to drive by themselves without a navigation map. They are broken in pain and need a repair. They end up with endless number of scars. Hello, who sent you on that road in the first place? God or you?

There is this saying that ‘a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage’. But you can have an unbroken relationship too. Which is better? The latter, I must say. Allow God choose for you and it’ll happen. You don’t have to be shattered and battered before you get to your final destination. Some people get so affected by the routes they take that by the time they get to their bus-stop, they begin to act out of character due to the hurt and disappointment they have experienced. They become bitter and loaded with all sought of negative mentalities. In the end, they might even be the reason their marriage wouldn’t be peaceful.

Wait upon the Lord for the right person. God still leads His children. Let Him lead you by the still waters. Seize from jumping into the turbulent seas without knowing that’s what it is. Follow the One who knows the end from the beginning. Why would you choose to take a cutlass to create a path in the jungle all by yourself when the One who knows all routes can take you by the hand through an express road? Follow the One who knows the end from the beginning. Stop toying with your emotions. Stick with God!
-Omosebi Mary Omolola

Experience Is Not The Best Teacher

Yeah, you read right. . .

When I was a single lady, I would speak about marriage with all authority anytime I was leading Bible studies. Someone asked me one day how come I knew so much about marriage and how I had answers available for many questions pertaining to marriage. I simply told that person that it was God at work in me and through me.

Have you ever thought about the fact that majority of the issues about marriage in The New Testament were written by Paul- an inexperienced man. Because he wasn’t married. But he spoke with all authority. He understood the mind of God when it came to the issue of marriage, amidst other issues. He was inspired to write about what he himself had not been through. That is why a person that has just been married for a year could successfully counsel another who has been married for 20 years. This can only be made possible by The Holy Spirit.

Don’t rely on the wisdom of man being portrayed or nicknamed ‘experience. Rely totally on The Holy Spirit. Experience is good. It is fine to listen to others with experience. But you must realize that everybody and every situation is unique.

Therefore, wait on the Lord. That’s why we are instructed to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding.

What worked for marriage A might not work for marriage B. And what worked for a situation in 2014 might not work for a similar situation in 2015. Even if you are the one with the experience, remember that the factor of time has changed. It’s a different time now from what it was then.

I want you to make up your mind to ask God about what He wants you to do per time. Let Him instruct you on how to approach EVERY issue you are faced with. Ask Him what His mind is. Let Him lead you to the right person to counsel you. Let Him tell you whose experience is profitable for you and those that are of no relevance to  you.

The fact that a person’s approach to a similar issue seems sensible/logical does not infer that you should apply it to your case. Don’t embrace any shared experience without allowing The Holy Spirit sift it for you. . .He will teach you all things.

Experience is not the best teacher, The Holy Spirit is!

~Omosebi, Mary Omolola
2015

Don’t Ignore The Danger Signs

 

You find some people complaining about their spouses and if you take time to dig very well into the underlying issues, you will find out that the exact thing they are complaining about didn’t just come to be. It has been right there all along; although most times as the smaller version. They saw it during courtship but turned a blind eye. (I really don’t know which saying exactly they follow; “Love is blind” or “Love covers a multitude of sin”). . . 


 

It is possible that not always do you see the danger signs clearly (since some people could be almost perfect with their acting skills). But seriously, I have come to realize that every little detail that gets ignored before marriage were actually warning signs. Open your eyes wide my dear. If need be put on a pair of glasses with magnification of x100. Lol. 

 

I remember coming out of my room on a certain night while I was running a postgraduate program in a bid to fetch water from the tap on the lower floor of my hostel building as it was around that time that they make water available if they would and I was welcomed to a free live drama. I saw a guy yelling at a lady on the stairway so I just stood at a corner to observe what was going on. The guy told the lady that he was done with her and that he only stayed with her to pass time. Yet this lady kept begging this guy despite him ridiculing her that much. He later said it was okay for them to carry on with the relationship but not without warning her never to question his authority again else the relationship would be over for good the next time he decided to call it quits. I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen in their marriage if the ended up getting married. Just imagine those two actually ending up getting married to each other . . .

 

You might as well get ready for the greatest shock of your life if you choose to turn a blind eye to the bad ways he reacts or speaks to you or others now. If he’s acting badly towards others but not you now, get ready, because it’ll soon be your turn. And that’s most likely going to be after he gets you totally into his hands. Then he stops the pretence and the ‘real’ him reveals himself to you from under the covering. It’s so easy to get carried away by the sweetness of the relationship; you are swept off your feet by the lovey-dovey actions towards each other.

 

Marriage is the place of reality. Wake up from your sleep! 

So he’s shouting at you now, he’ll yell even more once you’re married. He disrespects you now? He’ll walk all over you in marriage. He slaps you now? He’ll punch, box and whip you very well after you’re married. He flirts with women? He’ll graduate afterwards. He feels insecure and threatened by your visions or achievement now? He’ll do everything to push you under later on. He shows signs of distrust now and always suspects you’re cheating on him now? He’ll make your life a living hell soon enough because he would seize your phone, stop you from associating with people and probably beat you mercilessly one day when you make a mistake of smiling too much at another guy.

 

The list is endless. 

 

You see, that pair of spectacles I recommended earlier will automatically glue itself to your eyes on the wedding day. Then, you’ll be forced to see clearly. 

 

My simple piece of advice to my sisters (and of course brothers too) who aren’t married yet is “Shine ya eyes well well”! This does not necessarily mean that you dissolve the relationship (if God doesn’t want you to) but so that you might be prepared for what is probably coming to you in marriage. 

 

I pray for you that God will reveal every hidden problematic issue with that fiancé or intending fiancé (or fiancée) of yours. May He grant you the grace to discern and make the right judgement. May He help you take the right action before it is too late in Jesus’ name!

— OMOSEBI, Mary Omolola, PhD 

 

Hath Thou Clean?

Yeah, I’m talking to you. Are you clean? Spotless? Without wrinkle? Have you kept yourself away from every form of defilement? Are you still 100% committed to your spouse? So many questions, right? 

We are in a world where defilement enters the same bus or plane as you everyday. It works in your office. Walks into the church. It’s all over gigantic billboards. Almost the only thing shown off on tv. It has successfully injected itself into the system of many. People are beginning to perceive it’s colour to be white instead of black. It’s a hard one right? I mean staying pure. 


Ask yourself, “Am I clean?” If the answer is “yes”, then you need to guard against outside immoral influences. And if the answer is “no”, then you need to repent and do some housecleaning. Don’t be like the young man who fell into immorality by going after the harlot “as an ox goes to the slaughter” (Prov. 7:22). Instead, make sure that you are clean, both personally and in your home. That means being careful what you think about and look at, making sure to keep the right company. 


I challenge you today, stay clean. Stop dipping your hand in sin. Stop trading your birthright for a bowl of forbidden pottage. Stay true to your marital vows. Stop that adulterous relationship you are engaging in in your mind. Maybe you’ve even taken a step backward by physically involving yourself in immorality. That path is the path of death. It’s time to make a U-turn. Return home. Choose life. 


Sexual purity is still possible with the help of the Holy Spirit. Desire a regenerated heart from God, ask for it and He’ll give you. Yes, even in the midst of the present gross decadence. The Holy Spirit can help you block your mind from all the evil walking around. Make up your mind in Jesus. Trust Him for help. 


Make sure immorality cannot even be smelled in your home. It must never be heard of. Our God is holy. Stop ‘de-holying’ yourself! 

Shalom! 

-Omosebi Mary Omolola

Let’s talk Chastity! (2)

Still on the issue of chastity. This time around the focus is on the married. O yes, before you ask, chastity concerns the married too. 


Chastity within the confines of marriage means you don’t do anything to violate your marriage either with someone other than your spouse (adultery) or with yourself (pornography). Your marriage is honourable and must be kept in a place of honour.



The focal scripture is still Hebrews 13:4- 
Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.


Adultery is voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not their spouse. 




Before we go too far, you must know that once your thought drifts towards another person in a sexual way, you’re an adulterer. Yes, even without touching the person physically. 



Check this out: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. ( Matthew 5:28) 




Candice Watters says, “Purity means that married people may have sex only with each other, and only in ways that honor and celebrate God’s purposes. 

Anything that dishonors them is impure, grieves God and ultimately hurts even the spouses themselves.


A few examples are having sex in ways that hurt or humiliate, refusing sex out of spite, making selfishly excessive demands for sex, refusing the gift of children, and pretending that the spouse is someone else.” 



Being chaste as a married person will help you have a happy marriage. Your marriage is a priority. Being faithful is your aim.





 No reason at all justifies you cheating on your spouse.



 As she suddenly gone fat? Take her to the gym or become her personal trainer. Chastity is you staying true to your marital vows even if her Oby/Gyn has asked her to stay off sex for the remaining part of the pregnancy she’s carrying. Chastity is you staying put with your husband during the time of financial crisis without selling your body for money. 


Don’t be deceived. God can not be mocked. What a man (or woman) sows he (or she) will reap. These are perilous times. The devil is fighting to bring as many people as possible down by engaging in various sins.


An adulterer is a traitor. God’s judgement awaits traitors (2Tim. 3:4). Stop defrauding your spouse. Stop breaking the vows you made to your spouse before God. Go and amend your ways if you’re guilty as charged. You can stay true and faithful in this world full of betrayal and lust. 



God’s grace is sufficient for you to stay true to your vows!


You can stay pure if you decide to.

-OMOSEBI, Mary Omolola

Let’s Talk Chastity! (1)

Sadly, this topic is turning into a ‘not so fancy’ topic as the days go by (Sigh). 

Chastity is sexual purity. It is a virtuous character. It is purity in conduct and intention (action and thought alike). Chastity concerns everyone, married or unmarried.

Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4) 


The focus of this first part is the unmarried. Fornication is sexual intercourse between people not married to each other. 

Hebrews 13:4 talks about God judging fornicators. If you are unmarried and having sex you are wrong.

 Some people say that they must “sample the goods” they are about to buy before they can pay. Some ‘samplers’ run away after consuming the better part of the “goods” (thieves). Some men even threaten their fiancees with breaking off their relationships if she refuses to allow them with their selfish requests. God is watching! 


Be not deceived. Sex is not love. If he/she truly loves you, he/she’ll wait for you. Don’t give in out of desperation. Wait for the right time- after marriage. God’s judgment isn’t something to dare. Don’t build your marriage on a faulty foundation. 



Some women were discussing sometime ago in a particular group and I was totally shocked at the disgraceful things they were saying. The question was “what was your experience like on your wedding night?”. Answers like “I was very tired because I was heavily pregnant. I gave birth the following week” totally broke my heart. Several other heart wrenching comments flooded the place. Only a minute few married as virgins. How sad! Then I thought and still keep thinking, “what values will be passed to the children that are just being born?” 

You and I can be instruments of change by setting our priorities right. The watchword should be: “MARRIAGE BEFORE SEX”. 


It’s so sad what the values are in this age. Unlike before when virginity was highly cherished and a thing of pride. I believe it still is any way. It’s not just a thing of culture. Hear what the Bible says in Deuteronomy 22:13-21: 

If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, … and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid. … But if this thing be true, and 

the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 

Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die. 


God’s standard remains the same. Your virginity should be a gift to your husband or wife. Note that I’m talking to both men and women. It concerns both sexes. Fornication is a sin, take it or leave it. You can stay chaste. Choose to. 



Sex is God’s gift, beautiful only within the confines of marriage. If till now you are keeping your virginity safe, please lock it even farther away till you wed. In case you have been engaging in the sin of fornication, please listen to God’s shout out to you today to quit. Turn away from that unholy path. God is merciful, come to Him for forgiveness. He’ll cleanse you and make you as white as snow. Flee from everything that keeps taking you down that sinful path. Make up your mind to live a life of sexual purity.

You can stay chaste if you set your heart to.


OMOSEBI, Mary Omolola

A Working Relationship With God Births A Working Relationship With Man

The Word of God is health and life not only to our soul, but also to the marrow of our bones. God has taught me that His word is alive and powerful. When someone shares a verse from His Word, God wants us to actively incorporate it into our thoughts. We shouldn’t just read His Word but also ask God to make it abide within us. 

Psalm 90:14 says, “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” 

This verse talks about satisfaction. If we want satisfaction, we must be ready to invest. We can’t just decide one day and say, “Lord, I want to be satisfied with You for the rest of my days. I want to know the kind of love that is better than life. And I ask You to give it to me today,” and then expect that our needs will be met until we see Him face to face. It doesn’t work like that. 


Our needs are a daily concern. We wake up every day and have new ones. When we spend time with God, He convicts us about our attitude and motives. We get the privilege of pouring out our hurt to Him. It’s a good opportunity to remove from our cup anything that is false comfort. We pour our heart out in order to make room for Him because He wants to fill our hearts with His love. 


If we’re already full of our own anxieties and concerns, we don’t have very much room for Him. So it’s very important that we start our day pouring out ourselves and our needs to the Lord, allowing Him to meet us at the point of our needs rather than looking for others to satisfy the need. 


I’m not talking about a ‘prosperity gospel’ whereby we ask Him for ‘things’. I’m referring to being filled with our heavenly Father Himself. Our prayer should be, “Lord, satisfy me. Not with crumbs under the table but from the feast You’ve prepared for my soul. I long for You, fill me.” Not just what You can give me, I want YOU.” When we begin to approach Him like that and ask Him to rid us of the lesser gods in our lives, He’ll not only fill that cup, He will overflow it. Only God can satisfy our souls. 


One thing that is so incredible about allowing our Father to meet our needs first thing in the day is that our spouse or friend showers us with love later on, our cup overflows. But it’s not their job to initially meet the needs of our soul. Therefore, they enjoy the delight (and so do we) of causing this wonderful overflow. And what a difference that makes. 


Want a better human relationship, work at a better relationship with God! 

-Omosebi, Mary  Omolola. 


Verses that inspire: 

Psalm 143:10- Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 


Hebrews 10:22-23- let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 


Psalm 5:11-12- But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. 
Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield. 

1John 4:16a- And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

Marry God’s Friend

 

I have read and heard many people who advice that one thing that makes marriage work is to marry your friend. But this theory has failed many. They marry this so-called friend and he begins to act like a stranger. They begin to wonder where the person they thought they knew and got married to walked off to. I agree that it’s good to marry your friend, but the most important formula is to marry A Friend of God.
If that person is a friend of God, it simply means that he fears God. God is the centre of his life. His thoughts, actions and speech are controlled by God. A friend of God knows the laws of God. He honours God’s Words. A friend of God wants to do everything just to please God.
Only a friend of God will live with you peacefully. The Prince of peace is his Lord. It is a friend of God that will make sure you align with God’s purpose for your life. He understands that you are one and the same before God. It is a friend of God that will love you like Christ loves His church. He carries God on the inside of him. He is accustomed to the ways of God; the ways of God have become his ways. Man is fallible. Being your friend can change at any time. Being God’s friend is signing up for stability.
You have to be God’s friend too. Only then can the equation be balanced. Are you a friend of God?
God knows those who are His. Let him give you one of His friends to marry.
I pray God’s best for you in Jesus’ name!
~OMOSEBI Mary Omolola, PhD 

 

©2015
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