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Communicate and Take Dressing

I will like to share with you two incidences that occurred in my marriage; to let you know or further reiterate to you how important communication is in relationships and how you should react to sensitive issues when raised.

The first incidence: There was a lady who was really close to my husband. They’d been friends before my husband and I got married. I knew they were close pals but I observed their degree of closeness was deeper than I thought, after we got married. The lady is friendly, godly and all. I kinda liked that lady too and I would speak with her over the phone on some occasions. Even after we moved to another town and they didn’t have to see each other every day any more, the friendship was still strong.

But hey, I wasn’t feeling the closeness any longer.

This lady’s message would on many occasions be the first to come in in the morning and then she sometimes called at really odd hours at night; if you know what I mean. My spirit no longer agreed with that depth of friendship. I spoke to my husband about the uneasiness I was feeling. Yeah, just once. His reaction? He weaned himself from that relationship. He practically cut off communication with that lady such that I was the one that would ask after the lady to find out how she was doing and remind my husband about her birthday (because birthdays are really important to me); ask if he had wished her well but he would usually say, “No”. I thought it was an extreme measure taken by him but we discussed the issue and concluded it was better not to feed anything that could breed emotional infidelity.

The other incidence was about me:

One afternoon, after a few hours at work, my husband’s call came in and he said to me, “Why promise you would call back after your devotion at work and returned to the office, but didn’t?” I started arguing with him that I did as promised. He said it must have been in my dreams and then I told him to let me check my call log. I ended the call in order to check if I truly had called or not and I actually checked with the aim of getting proof that I was right all along but hey, I was maximally wrong. To my amazement, I really didn’t call him back.

He told me I had done the same thing some days before too and that was why he decided to call me out on the issue. Ha, me that I can call for Africa? I was overridden by my tight schedule at work that I didn’t even notice I hadn’t spoken to my husband for hours; quite unlike me.

I could have turned it on him that what was wrong with him calling back if I didn’t. But I didn’t. Instead, I took dressing.

Him raising the issue made me aware of what I was doing without even noticing it. And that put in me the consciousness of being alert in my spirit to keeping the communication lines open as we had always done.

I decided to share two instances so as to balance up the point I am trying to make.

You will notice that in both instances, we both took appropriate action in making the relationship move forward after the little hitches showed up on our way.

Instead of keeping your grievances stuck away in the corner of your heart, speak out about them. Voice out your concerns to your partner and lovingly try to resolve them.

When you are the one at the receiving end of the act that has caused the displeasure in your partner, please be totally objective about the issue raised. Don’t be quick to wash your hands off all guilt. Make sure you look inward and ascertain the areas you need to work on.

The purpose of communication is to ensure that your relationship is better afterwards.

It is not healthy to keep in your heart things you are not pleased with, when you should let your partner know. It will cause a build up of resentment towards your partner.

Neither is it good to form the habit of always shaking off all faults from yourself when your partner discusses with you issues that matter to them

On a final note, know that no issue should be regarded as too little or too big to talk about with your partner. Make sure to nip in the bud any tree of negativity trying to take root in your relationship, with all sense of promptness.

Shalom!

– OMOSEBI Mary Omolola, PhD 

 

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Spark to Flames

Let’s take the fireplace as a case study:

You know, when you gather sticks to cook on a fireplace, for you to have a smooth cooking experience you have to continually shake off the ash from the sticks and push them further inside so that they can together give you better igniting power.

It is so with marriage too. Your marriage can get better no matter how long you have been married for or what your marriage looks like now.

Watch this video now to find out more:

This video is a replay from the webinar for married women organized by The Beautiful Branch Ministries.

Please remember to share this with your married female friends.

Three Stages of Marriage

 

•Are you married?
•Married but feeling single?
•Feel like giving up on your marriage? Wait…
•Are you single and planning to get married?

Watch this video to arm yourself with some indispensable knowledge for having a successful marriage as I share with you the three stages of marriage.

Please share this with your friends!

Thanks

 

NO SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE CAMPAIGN

I feel strongly to lead a social media campaign for sexual purity themed NO SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE.

It is for both singles and married.

I will like to specially invite you to join me on this campaign that will kick off on the 3rd of April 2017.

Join your voice with mine as we tell the World God’s mandate and our decision to stay faithful and keep our bodies from defilement.

This epidemic called sexual immorality is taking over our world without remorse. Let’s stand up unapologetically and tell the world that we stand for purity- single and married alike.

This has been on my mind for several months and I believe it is time to embark on it.

All you need to do is write a poem, story, testimony, letter, pledge, song, tweet. . . anything to pass across the message that you stand against sex outside marriage and why.

. . . Perhaps we might save a few… Or many!

You can make it a once off thing or severally in the course of the week.

If you want, a poster will be designed for you with your picture to add to your campaign post. Please signify in the comments section so that you can know where to send your details. . . Few slots available.

I will also be featuring seasoned and experienced men/women who will enlighten us on topical issues in relation to this campaign in the course of the week.

I ask you to join me in this campaign.

It will be an eight-day long campaign.

Be ready to
WRITE
SHARE
TAG
SOUND THE ALARM

🎺 🎺 🎺 🎺 🎺 🎺 🎺

NO SEX OUTSIDE MARRIAGE!

Are you in?

WATCH THIS VIDEO TO FIND OUT 7 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEXUAL PURITY 

***** Please share the word.

#No_Sex_Outside_Marriage
#NoSOM
#I_Plegde

-OMOSEBI Mary Omolola (PhD)

The Race Called Marriage

Source: Internet
Source: Internet

I had the opportunity of engaging in track sporting events when I was younger. And my area of specialization was the long distance race. I would usually run the 3000m and 1500m races. I was thinking about this today and I would like to share with you what was ministered to my heart from my experience on the tracks.

The normal thing then was to start out on a relatively low speed as we ran round the field and then when going on the last lap, put in all the energy you can gather for the race. The aim was to save some energy for the latter part of the race.

One fascinating thing then however, was that if anyone had finished a previous lap of the race and meets you while you’re still on the previous, you will be disqualified.

This is to say that speed was of great essence at the beginning as much as it was at the close of the race even though you are trying to save the best of your energy for the latter part of the race.

When a sprinter gets on the track, he must maintain his speed or better still increase his speed as the race progresses if he wants to win the race.

Marriage needs that kind of commitment too if it must stand the test of time.

There is no room for laxity in marriage. A good marriage is something you work at constantly.

It is not for you to relax because you’re now married.

Here is another story Jesus told: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a farmer who planted good seed in his field.  But that night as the workers slept, his enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat, then slipped away.”
(Matthew 13:24-25 NLT)

Marriage just like almost any other aspect of life, requires due diligence from those involved.

You tend to get too familiar with your spouse as your marriage progresses and may fall into the error of letting your marriage ‘follow it’s own course’. You think it is not necessary to put in too much efforts into making your relationship extra special.

However, when you are not watching, the enemies of your marriage will creep in one after the other. And since it won’t happen at once, the damage would have been done to the marriage before you even know what is going on.

Like a baby, marriage needs to be taken care of as much as is possible. And as it grows, the nutritional requirements also increase.

The older your marriage gets, the hotter your love should be. The farther you go in your race of marriage,  the more your investments in the marriage should be. Your marriage must be nurtured continously.

Wake up from your slumber and begin to watch over the affairs of your marriage. Water your love. Invest in your marriage. Choose to love your spouse.

Brood over your marriage in the place of prayer continously. Let the Holy Spirit be your coach.

All will be well with your marriage by the grace of God.

© OMOSEBI Mary Omolola

It takes two to tango

Sometimes, scientific principles work well in real life. In mathematics, when you multiply a positive number with a negative number, the result is a negative value. This principle is applicable to marriage.

I have seen under many circumstances, only one partner in a marriage willing to make the marriage work. The other person goes around with a negative vibe.

This negatively charged person has a nonchalant attitude towards the marriage. He/she just crosses his/her legs without any iota of willingness to see the marriage succeed. They even sometimes threaten their partners with quitting the marriage.

When two people embark on an assignment to move something, they cannot experience progress with one person pushing while the other is pulling.

The two people involved in a marriage must be positively charged for their marriage to succeed.

Many people, especially women lament about the imbalance in advice given to married couples by counsellors. Even the entertainment world holds the same stance. They tell the woman that the marriage belongs to her. They make it look like only one person is responsible for the success of a marriage. They tell the woman so many things she should do and refuse to tell the man what he should be doing.

I have never been able to get my head around this absurd indoctrination. And as a matter of fact, I believe this has gone a long way in destroying many marriages that may have survived.

It is very important to get it into our heads, males and females alike, that both genders must be ready to work at having a successful marriage. All hands must be on deck.

It is time for you to stop the blame – game.  Own up to your faults and take responsibility for your role in the insanity of your marriage up until now.

Both the husband and wife should pray for their marriage.
Both the husband and wife should submit to God and to one another.
Both the husband and wife should love each other. . .

Else, you get yourself a malnourished marriage. If you refuse to invest in your marriage you shouldn’t expect good fruits of happiness in your marriage either. It’s a simple principle.

So, instead of standing aloof and complaining about what your spouse is not doing right, join forces together to build a good marriage with the help of God.

. . .and the two of you shall chase ten thousand as against one thousand that only one of you will.

A marriage will never work if only one person is trying to push the marriage to safety.

Just like in a tango, where both partners must concentrate on the dance and watch out for the other party lest they suffer any form of injury, it indeed takes two to make a marriage work.

~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

Photo credit : Internet; vimbly
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