Understanding is not merely a transfer of information, but an empathy for the other person based on what he or she communicated with you. Understanding is essential in building each other’s self image. You must continually seek to comprehend the context of each other’s lives, the kind of context that helps to explain our self-image, our behaviour, and our attitudes.
Applying the Law of Understanding will give you the right to be heard by your mate. If he or she senses that you truly understand- or at least desire to understand- then your suggestions and attempts to build into your mate will be better received.
The next time your mate expresses a concern, ask if he or she feels that you understand it. Practice listening with a sympathetic ear, and look beyond the response to its cause. What has occurred in your mate’s life that contributes to this present attitude? Which pressures today may be crushing your mate’s self-confidence?
Proverbs 24:3 says, “Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.” And 1Peter 3:7 teaches husbands to dwell with their wives with understanding.
There is this picture that went viral on social media for some time, portraying the book titled ‘Understanding Women’ (or something like that) being so voluminous, such that it was almost reaching to the ceiling or should I say, without end. Many men have already filled their minds with the erroneous believe that women are too complex to understand. Some women too hold on to the version that men cannot be understood. Erase that thought from your mind, because os it will destroy your relationship. Be open-minded. Be willing to understand your spouse and trust God to help you. It might be difficult at first but with time, it’ll get better. Choose to understand him/her. And it will be worth it. Give it a shot. Dismantle that book into chapters and gradually and lovingly unfold the goodness on the inside.
As we give each other the gift of understanding, we build a stronger, healthier marriage that endures.