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Where are the men in the house? You really need to read this. . .

At creation, God’s plan was for a man to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. And i have not seen where he changed that norm. What that means in essence is that he is now one and the same with his wife.

How come some men refuse to do the needful and leave their fathers and mothers? (And everyone who played the role of father and mother in their lives). I hear about so many cases of men who prioritise their extended families (that’s what your parents, siblings, uncles and aunts become when you get married) over their immediate families.

I am not saying that you should neglect your parents and siblings but you need to get the order of your priorities right. Love them like you love yourself. You cannot give what you do not have. Your spouse is you. If you do not love your wife it means you do not love yourself. In my opinion, it is hypocrisy to say you love others when you do not love yourself. You must never shove your spouse behind your ‘family’. I believe that is a wrong move.

If you are yet to put things right please do it now.

I’d like you to answer these questions honestly. . .

Who is your next of kin?

Have you amended who your next of kin is at the approprate quarters after you got married? How come your brother is still your next of kin when you have a wife and children?

What about the official documents of your assets (landed properties and all)? Whose names are on them?

And why are you just buying a property with only your name on the document?

Do you have a will? If you do, how have you protected the interest of the wife of your youth and your children?

I know these are very sensitive issues. I am not a pessimist. But life happens. Some people just have to exit this world early and there is nothing anyone can do about that. However, you can do something about what happens with your family after you exit this world.

I have seen cases of people (firsthand) who left their wife and children in abject poverty even though they themselves were rich just because of their ignorance and negligence.

Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren, but the sinner’s wealth passes to the godly. (Proverbs 13:22 NLT)

I do not believe this Scripture is saying that you should skip your children’s generation and focus on your granchildren’s. So don’t tell me that you want your brother to keep and later pass your wealth on to your grandchildren. When next you are taking a decision, ask yourself what your decision says about you- a good person/wise person or otherwise.

God trusted Abraham to pass on the legacy of godly living first to his children and then generations after them. (I am tempted to digress to tell you that the greatest inheritance to leave your children is spiritual wealth and moral direction but I’ll stay in line)

Even God has plans for His children. Jesus has gone to PREPARE a place for His disciples.

What plans are you making for the future?

Make plans for the future and commit those plans to the Lord; trusting His will to be done.

Your spouse and children should not be left to suffer.

I have seen and heard about too many horrifying cases to know how important this issue is.

I am not trying to ‘teach’ you how to run your affairs but to encourage you to give thought to the issues i have raised here.

This is a real life issue that we must take cognisance of and I was inspired to address it.

May the Lord help you to take the right steps NOW!


~ OMOSEBI Mary Omolola
© 2016

Omosebi Mary Omolola (PhD)

Omosebi Mary Omolola (Ph.D) is a lover of God, a disciple of The Lord Jesus Christ and a teacher by calling. She is on assignment to groom godly youths and women through the help of the Holy Spirit in this end-time. She treasures family. She has a strong desire to see marriages thrive in this troubled world. She speaks and writes passionately about marriage, relationships, and Christian living. She enjoys a beautiful marriage with her husband and best friend. She is a mother, writer, an entrepreneur and researcher and teacher of Food Science and Technology.


  1. This is a beautiful one. I cannot but agree with you. Thanks for the reminders. Keep up the good work.

  2. "Who is your next of kin?" Very important question. I never really gave thought to these issues you hAve raised in this writeup. Thank madam. God bless you.

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