Funny how these words came to mind again. As I remembered that I was having a chat with a friend recently and I recall stating “2019 has been a Year!; funny how I was so excited for the year but didn’t know it will be a year of many bumpy rides”. 🤔
Hmm, as much as we claim and state “I trust God”, do we really trust Him?. 💭
I had to ask myself this question when I was hit so badly the third time on an attempt. It was like “God why do you allow me to ache this much”. I didn’t know if all was indeed well when I first got to know of the feedback on the attempt. As I interjected my mum when she said “All is well, all will be well” with “I don’t know if all is well”. Truth be told, I was feeling so blank.
You know when you have this template at heart and you are so resolute in your pace of “I know God has got this covered” etc.
And the opposite still happens. Why why why; I had so many whys flooding my mind and when I realized I was at the point of losing myself to it. As I began laughing and tearing, I picked up my laptop and said to myself “I have cried too much already this past times, I am tired of it and I really don’t want to again – I really need some air”.
My faith was on the borderline and I couldn’t help myself. Hey, I can’t help myself in the first place right?, 🙂 because if we could really save ourselves then Christ wouldn’t have bothered coming to pay the price (All of it) in advance.
And He did it all, so that even though we will still come to face all sort. Oh my God, let me emphasize that “All sort, my friend”. That is it – it could be dreadful and you are asking yourself “Is God still there for me at all”. 🤔
Smiles, but no matter how hard it seems and tough the bashing we face. God is still God and still Good.
I wouldn’t say I have had a fun-filled year – No!. Instead I have had it with a twist, turns, separations/ letting go and focusing on God, as I am being made. That I strongly believe!.
It could hurt badly, you fail in words to describe it. As earlier on, when it happened and mum and elder sis came to me consecutively asking about how I felt, I had nothing to say. I was just so lost on words and couldn’t express how I felt about it at all. It was like “cat cut my tongue” idiomatically. 😂 But hey, we would still keep trusting Him (God) right?. Yeah, we would. We have to. We can’t fall out of the fold and His divine covering.
So yeah, after I had my moments of derailing thoughts and gave myself space to see a movie to get some load off my chest or better put: to distract myself. I came back to my bearing. I still cried but I couldn’t love any better my summation “God I still trust you”.
It could feel like you are so on a lonely island, encompassed all around with deep water bodies that you dread its sight. As that was exactly how I felt as I gazed outside through my room window and all I could see was the dark night clouds accompanied by the raindrop sounds. But hey “God is still there and active in it all for us”. 🙌
Yeah, God is not a man that He should lie, nor the son of man that He should repent, as He has said it, shall He not bring it to pass. I am grateful that God is so not a man, I have known better about that this year and I couldn’t be more grateful for the separations I have had to come to terms with.
God is still good and ever faithful. That is my summation. What is yours?. 🙌🙇
P.S: Funny how I was reminded that my last post before the shocker was on “All is well” (like a prep message; written in advance to me) and the verses I read this morning while on my study (time out) emphasized God being faithful in it all. 🙇
We are not alone in this, we are never alone!.
“We are desperate people, we want more, more lord! /2x
Cos desperate people do desperate things and we’re pressing in,
There is gotta be more,
gotta be more,
There is gotta be more than this” 🎶
Thank you Abba for training and teaching us that there is more to us in all of the happenings.
UNSHAKABLE TRUST – Undivided and Unending it is!.
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