TGIF… Let me share this with you…
I woke up this morning, had my devotion and afterwards headed to the kitchen to prepare the food our children would take to school. I was about to head to the bathroom so that I could get dressed and take the children to their school when I paused at the door and decided to take this photo 📷 😁😬
That was at 7am… I had not even rinsed my face like I know many people do when they wake up (actually I don’t 🙃). In short, this was basically how I looked when I woke up.
By the time I left the house for the office few minutes after that, I had rubbed powder on my face and applied lip balm. My more peng version was what I took to my work place 🥰
I decided to use this photo of me to pass across these:
It is important that you let your hair down sometimes in front of the person you intended getting married to; particularly in this era of makeup and over packaging. Don’t let brother enter shock on the morning after the wedding because of what he sees. (I am focusing on the ladies because the men are naturally moved by what they see).
Whether you like it or not, all those things that you have been hiding from world people will be laid bare before your husband after you are married. You see ehn, your husband/wife is the one that will see all the versions of you possible.
Let your partner know what he is getting himself into. He was most likely attracted to the flawless look of your face. It will be better you let him know that that face has patches o (better yet, let me help you get your skin to a healthy point 🙂). If it is fake bumbum you wear all the time, better declare your real assets o.
As funny as this may sound, it is a serious matter. I have heard of marriages falling into coma because of issues like this where the man claims to have been scammed.
📍The second thing I have to say is to married men and women. . .
Some of our spouses only see the unrefined versions of us 95-99% of the time (I left the 1% for times you go to Church or social events together 😏). All they see at home is you in wrapper, scattered weavon, smelly hair, oil stained tops, sweaty shirts, stinking mouths and armpits, etc.
…Your refined version is only seen by your colleagues at work and in pictures.
It is important that we put in effort to look good at home too. I say it all the time that I put in the effort to get my skin in a healthy state and get dressed even at home primarily for myself. It boosts my self confidence and just makes me feel good about myself. But I have come to realize that it spills over to pleasing my husband and for me, that is a great dividend. He makes comments often about how he appreciates that I put effort into taking good care of my body and looking good.
Like you can see from my attached photo, I don’t have any makeup on. But my skin looks good. My hair is packed in a bun. Despite my slightly swollen eyes from sleep, I don’t look bad 😉
Some people will say it doesn’t matter. My brothers and sisters, it matters. Some will say the spouse should understand that they have seen each other finish already but it is good to keep the level of excitement about each other up. Some will say that it is about the content. But eskiss ma, it was the package that uncle first saw before exploring the contents.
Your looks still matter.
📍To cap it up, look beyond the looks. You must decide to love your partner no matter what happens. If you are only all about the looks, what will happen when unexpected things happen? A woman might not be able to control herself from producing excess spittle when she is pregnant. Or what would you do when the fine man falls ill and his face is looking bloated or he loses so much weight that some of the muscle he had disappeared?
I remember being seriously sick sometime last year and my husband had to take care of me… He had to clean my vomit several times. 🤢 🤮
I looked my worst that period but he was still there for me every inch of the way. That single incidence proves to me that he loves me so much.
You have to be realistic. Your partner will not look 100% all the time but you must choose to stay in love with him/her nonetheless.
Summarily, balance is key.
Let love lead…
Don’t be complacent…
Be as real as real can be!
© OMOSEBI Mary Omolola, Ph.D